Did you ever commit some stupid mistakes in your life which could have led to a disaster – the kind of mistakes which you could have avoided but still you insisted on doing it because there was this voice in your head tempting you to do so. Believe me, a mistake like that is really unforgettable and life changing. I can say this because I my self had some of these mistakes which until now hunts me when I sleep.
When I was just a five year old boy with absolutely nothing in my head except all those sissy games I used to play. It was just another normal boring afternoon when my yaya finally got the idea of cleaning the front yard. She decided to burn some dry leaves while my brother and I did some of our daily routine somewhere inside the house – consider punching each other on the chin as one.
When we saw her start the fire, we rushed towards her just like those stupid moths on that moth story everybody is talking about. We really enjoyed burning all those trash with that mighty fire. We even included our cousins toys and her beloved scrapbook. The time came when we had already burnt everything on sight and we still had the urge to burn so my brother and I ran in the house in search for something to burn and destroy.
We searched and burnt everything that we could possibly find. Then, my brother suddenly led me to the forbidden room of the house. We were so curious about it and the things inside it so we ransacked the place in search for something amazing. After the deed, we found something. It was a box filled with bullets. I took three bullets and with a weird smile I ran towards the blazing flame. My brother tried to stop me but it was too late. I continued to run to the flame with the bullets in my hand as if i was insane.
At that time, there was no turning back. When I finally got there, with that unexplainable smile on my face and the desire to put the bullets on the flame, I threw them in the fire and they were slowly engulfed by the flame. After the first explosion, I still stood there smiling while all the others were running to take cover. It was like I was out of my mind. After the second and the last explosion, I got afraid and ran away screaming like a little girl.
I was so confused at that time that I did not do anything except run to my room and hope that everything would be fine by the time I wake up the next morning. I wasn’t even able to sleep that day because of the incident. The next day, I found the remains of the three bullets and then everything began to become clear again. I remembered the shouts of the other kids and the rest of our neighbors. I really didn’t know what to do that time. I was so helpless at that moment. I felt like no one wanted to be with me again. I felt alone and afraid. I was not the same kid who dropped those bullets in the fire. I was so afraid of what my parents might do to me when they knew about what happened and how it happened.
My brother told my father everything. When my father heard everything, he got mad. His eyes popped out and he then started to shout at my face and let me know hop stupid I was and, at the same time, point at me and told me how disappointed he was. He pushed me by making me kneel facing the altar while he was blabbing at my back. I never really understood the consequences of my doing until the time I saw a movie where a guy killed someone using a gun. It was then I realized that I could have killed someone, at that early age I could have been a murderer. Until now, I still can’t sleep whenever I remember what happened and the beauty of that vermilion flame. Up until now, a question keeps popping in my mind. What if I killed someone that day? What if I hurt myself or my siblings? I know I can’t bring it all back the way it was by just saying, oops sorry my mistake.
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